You Only Hide
by bellerophon
Summary: Chris Jericho's perspective of the events surrounding his relationship with a certain WWE Diva. Companion fic to Breathe In Now.


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TITLE: You Only Hide (1/1) R

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AUTHOR: Bellerophon

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EMAIL: bellerophon_666@hotmail.com

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RATING: R

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CATEGORY: WWE

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DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters and the song is owned and played by Something For Kate

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DISTRIBUTION: If you want it, just let me know. 

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SUMMARY: Companion piece to Breathe In Now, told from Chris Jericho's perspective.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was inspired by the Something For Kate song, 'You Only Hide' which is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. If you can buy it or download, I say get it because it's one of my favourite songs. I've put the lyrics at the end so you can have a squiz at them. The first fic 'Breathe In Now' was inspired, funnily enough, by the song Breathe In Now by george. Both of these songs are just beautiful.

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YOU ONLY HIDE

Chris sat down, sweaty and tired, amongst his friends as they watched the end of that night's show. Matt and Jeff were joking around with each other and making jokes about what they had just seen as they were walking around bakstage together.

She had just been trying to help her husband and accidently cost him the pin. It was understandable for him to be pissed off. But she had taken a chance too. It was Kane and Undertaker out there, and they had shown no qualms about stopping any outside threats to them winning.

But it had been so uncalled for, his behaviour backstage. Triple H just about completely humiliated her, ignored her apology, turned his back on her and walked out with his buddies, Roaddogg and Billy Gunn.

It was immeasurably difficult to stop himself from yelling at his friends. It was such a strain to keep the anger from his eyes. And it wasn't like they knew any better. After all, for all they knew, she was Queen of all Bitches, who didn't give a fuck about anyone around her.

In a way, they were absolutely correct in their idea of her. That was how she wanted to be viewed and that was a part of her personality.

Chris pulled a shirt on and pulled his hair out of the way. The sounds of conversation faded away from his ears as he thought about her, the way she used him and how pathetic his love life was. He didn't know how he got himself into the situation he was in. Although he did have terrible luck with women.

But this time, this time it was just too much. He figured it was a hopeless cause, trying to get her to admit she had feelings for him. She refused to leave her husband, keeping up appearances.

How in hell had he managed to fall in love with Stephanie McMahon?

It had started as a little infatuation, a little obsession. He'd spent his time insulting her because of what she represented. She was symbolic of every authority figure that had ever held him down, conspired aainst him, told him he would never be one of the top tier players. 

So he insulted her, harrassed her, and tormented her. It was all fun and games. Then she started tormenting him. 

He didn't mind it when she sent her goons after him, he didn't mind when she slapped him, he didn't even mind when she screetched at him with that glass shattering voice. But he started to have problems when she invaded his dreams.

Those damn dreams. At first they were just fantasies, something for him to wake up and thing he was insane for even imagining. She was the enemy. But after one show, when she had interfered in a match, he went to her locker room to have another sniping contest. It hadn't turned out how he imagined at all.

She had looked so sexy, her hair all messed up out of its coiffed style, her clothes awry. And Chris had been so angry from his match that he lost all semblance of control and pushed her against the wall. Intending to yell at her, Chris found himself kissing her roughly. And while his mind was telling him that Triple H would soon be kicking the shit out of him, Chris had ignored that voice and lowered Stephanie to the floor.

It had seemed like a situation out of one of his tormenting dreams. And the situations kept occurring until they both acknowledged the truth. 

Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon were having an affair.

"Hey, Jericho?" Matt whacked his shoulder. "You coming out with us tonight or not?"

Chris turned away from the locker, distracted and short. "No. Not tonight. I'm just gonna go back to my hotel room and go to sleep."

"Whatever you say, man." Matt checked his watch and swore. "Lita's going to kick my ass. I told I'd meet her 'bout fifteen minutes ago." He hurried to the door and stopped for a moment. "I'll meet you there, Jeff. Catch you later, Chris." Then he was gone.

Jeff smirked. "He's so whipped."

"Yeah," Chris mumbled. It was sad to think that he was jealous of a guy being whipped. But at least Matt had a girlfriend who loved him back.

"So is Stephanie coming to see you tonight?"

"Probably not," Chris mumbled without thinking and then realised what he said. "Wait, no, why would she be coming over? Uh, trash bag ho."

"Nice try, man." Jeff snickered. "You are so obvious."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Chris tried to save himself from being discovered. Jeff would never understand why he had gotten in so deep.

"I'm not stupid, man. I can see what's right in front of my eyes." Jeff shrugged, brightly coloured hair falling over his shoulders. "We all can."

Chris winced. "Who's 'we all'?"

"Anyone who's good friends with you." Meaning Jeff, Matt, Lita, Benoit and any else Chris could think of. 

"Aw, crap." Chris looked at Jeff. "Am I an idiot? Does anyone think that I'm insane?"

"Pretty much. But we thought you were insane anyway." Jeff clapped Chris's shoulder. "Watch out though. Don't let it blind you to her. She's still Stephanie McMahon. She's done some pretty horrendous things to you. We're all worried 'bout any alterior motives."

"She's not like that at all," Chris snapped, feeling free to defend her now.

"Chris, I'm not blind." Jeff ran a hand through his hair. "I'm just saying, she's Stephanie McMahon and she's married. She's got a husband."

"You think I don't know that?" Chris looked down and breathed out. "I just, I can't help it. It's like a fucking suicide mission every time I try to stay away. I start thinking about her and I can't stop and it drives me fucking crazy, imagining her with that fat-nosed bastard. She's too good for him."

Jeff's eyes widened. "Oh man." 

Chris covered his face with his hands and moaned, "What?"

"You love her."

"Huh?" Chris uncovered his face.

"You love her." Jeff unsuccessfully tried to restrain his grin. "Chris Jericho is in love with Stephanie McMahon who is cheating on her beloved husband Triple H with him."

"Oh god. What's wrong with me?" Chris winced. "I knew it too. I've known for ages."

"You are one mixed up man." Jeff patted Chris's arm in a gesture of sympathy. "Just don't get yourself in too much trouble. Triple H finds out, he is going to be one seriously pissed off man." Jeff picked up his bag and walked to the door. "I'll see you later, Chris"

"Yeah," Chris halfheartedly pushed his things in his bag and left the lockerrom, ready to go back to his hotel room and forget about the outside world, brown haired women and all his problems.

If only it were that easy.

Arriving back at the hotel, Chris was busy not thinking about how Triple H had reamed Stephanie out for just trying to help him. Stupid son of a bitch didn't realise how lucky he was that Stephanie even stayed with him. 

Chris avoided talking to any of the other wrestlers who were hanging around and hid himself out in his hotel room. A light rain pattered against the windows and Chris could see a storm building outside. It suited his mood. He felt like a storm as building inside him too.

He spent the early evening quietly, no radio or television on. The rain and wind was enough to fill the blanketing silence. Chris sat on the couch and read old books, happy for familiar words to take his mind away from the weirdness of his life.

The hours drifted past. Chris had only just noticed how his hotel room had darkened with lack of light when he heard some one knocking on his door. He stood up slowly, stretching and turned on a light. He couldn't figure out who would be coming to see him. Well, except for...

He opened the door and somehow wasn't surprised to see Stephanie standing there, shivering and wet, in his doorway. Chris looked in her blue eyes and knew better than to say anything. Words weren't what she needed. He drew her into his rooms and enveloped her in his arms. Her skin was clammy and wet.

He felt Stephanie shivering in his arms and led her into his bedroom, not bothering with niceties or words.

Chris kissed her gently as he pulled off her wet clothes, savouring Stephanie's soft, pliant skin. He memorised every part of her, every inch. Never before had she allowed him to be go so slow and gently with her. She always insisted on passion, hard, fast, energetic sex before.

Stephanie stood naked before him, beautiful and vulnerable in the bursts of light from lightening outside. Chris swept his lips over her body as he pulled her onto his bed. He didn't know why Stephanie was letting down her guard, why she was letting him take control or why she was letting herself be so vulnerable, but he wouldn't question it. 

He entered Stephanie and let his feelings take over him. Thunder and lightening shook the room as they kissed and moved against each other, each feeling a new level of intimacy.

As he moved within her, Chris felt Stephanie shuddering beneath him. He gathered her in his arms as he reached his peak, kissing her hard. She moaned against his mouth and her nails dug into his back before relaxing against him.

Chris held Sephanie tightly as he rolled over so that she ended lying on top of him. He kissed the top of her head and breathed out slowly, trying to relax from the intensity of the experience. Then felt her beginning to whimper against his chest. Chris closed his eyes as he listened to her cry, stroking her hair gently.

Chris didn't know what had happened, or why Stephanie was letting her obsessive control down tonight, but he didn't question her as she cried. He didn't want to cause her any more pain than she was obviously already in. Instead, he just held her tightly and tried to protect her and assuage her tears with his presence.

She cried softly, but soon slipped into sleep as the storm itself quietened. Chris stroked her hair and held her close as he himself fell asleep, feeling oddly happy for the first time in a long time.

Chris woke slowly the next morning, tired but satisfied deep within himself. Last night had been something new, like he had been seeing Stephanie for the first time. Like she had opened herself up in a new way. Like she was really in love with him and they were almost just a normal couple, not having to hide their feelings even from each other.

Smiling sleepily, Chris rolled over and went to cuddle Stephanie next to him. Except that she wasn't there for him to cuddle...just cold empty sheets. Chris's eyes opened and he looked over in disbelief. He shifted the blankets like she had shrunk and was hiding in the folds. 

Chris sat up and looked around. He frowned and peered around the room. She didn't seem to be anywhere in the room. Nor was she hiding either in the wardrobe or behind it. He found some abandoned pants and pulled them on.Looking at the floor, he deducted that her clothes were gone. 

Putting the facts together, Chris felt his stomach sink to somewhere in the vicinity of below his feet. Stephanie didn't seem to be anywhere in his hotel room. Her clothes were gone. She had yet to stay the night with him.

Chris cursed himself for letting his hopes rise. Of course Stephanie wouldn't stay the night. She had a husband and she had often said how much she loved having an affair that had no emotional attachments. He was nothing but a good fuck to her. 

He walked into the kitchen and calmly made himself breakfast. He ate quickly and silently. A calm face belied Chris's inner thoughts and turmoil. 

That was it. He couldn't take any more of this. He couldn't take her just using him and then running back to Triple Nose as soon as the possibility of emotional attachment came up. It was just not humanly possible anymore. Look at what she had reduced him to.

It was pathetic. He was a grown man and he should've been able to make choices which wouldn't lead him situations like this. Even more, he should be able to detach himself when it was blatantly obvious that he was nothing to the woman he loved.

Chris resolved himself. It was over. He wouldn't take this sort of treatment anymore. Next time Stephanie tried to come by and use him to make herself feel better, well, he'd just tell her where the door was and walk away. He committed the thought in his mind and stood up, needing some clear fresh air. 

He walked over to the door, pulled some shoes on and opened his door. He was shocked to some one standing outside. The last peson he wanted to see, in fact.

Stephanie was standing in the doorway, her face tired and pale. Chris frowned and held onto his resolve to not fall back into her grips. "What're you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" Stephanie's big blue eyes entreated him. Chris couldn't bring himself to turn her away nor could he invite her in, despite all his instincts telling him not to let her do it to him again. Torn and stuck in limbo. So he left the door open and walked resolutely into his bedroom. Stephanie followed him in, closing the door behind her.

"I'm sorry about last night." Stephanie's voice came from behind Chris as he tied up his hair. It held a tremulous timbre, hesitant and wavering.

Chris faced the mirror and looked at Stephanie's reflection, the shining surface put distance between himself and the woman that haunted him. "Why? Why be sorry?"

She looked away. "I don't know."

Chris frowned and spun around without thinking, saying the first thing that came to mind. "I thought you'd be here when I woke up."

"I left." Stephanie stated the obvious, which Chris didn't want to hear. "I went back to..."

Swallowing bitterly, Chris knew what she was going to say, finishing her sentence. "Back to him."

"Yes. Back to him. Back to my hotel room." Stephanie glared at him, eyes flashing in unexpected anger. "Not like that should matter to you."

Chris returned the dirty look before starting to the kitchen and made a pretence of moving some cutlery and bowls around. He huffed and kept talking, even though he knew he was just going to embarrass himself. "How come you stay with him? Your marriage is a farce, you've told me you don't love him." Chris started into ranting mode. "You don't even like being around him, there isn't..."

"I've left Hunter." 

Chris stopped mid sentence. 

"This morning...it's over." 

Stephanie was looking at him like she deserved a pat on the back. Didn't she realise what she was doing to him? She was fucking torturing him. "Why're you telling me this?"

"Well, I thought you might find it to be interesting news."

Chris felt like screaming at Stephanie and telling her that he loved her, that he couldn't stop thinking about her, that she'd ruined him for other women. Instead he just breathed out slowly and tried take part in the conversation. "Why did you do it?"

"Because, because it was what I wanted to do." Stephanie floundered in her answer. "I didn't want to be with him anymore." She looked at Chris and he saw something that made him think that maybe that wasn't it at all. "I didn't love him."

"No!" Chris snapped. He heard his common sense running away and hiding in a dusty, cobwebby corner of his mind. That was why he kept talking when he knew he should stop. "We both know that's not why you did it."

"Oh, okay then, why did I do it?" Her eyes were flashing, angry and beautiful. Her eyes, shining deep blue, her eyes that haunted him bored into him and raised his blood, finally made him lose that last shred of control he maintained around her. To stop himself from hauling Stephanie close and kissing her brutally, Chris spun and slammed his hand against a vase, shattering it on the ground.

"Admit you have feelings for me, admit you left Triple H because you want to be with me!"

Stephanie looked like someone had just told her that Santa Claus wasn't real. "No, no, that's not it at all."

"Last night, was that just meaningless fucking?" Chris shouted. He would've stopped but Stephanie was, well, she looked like she about to cry. And Chris wanted her to cry. He wanted her to feel something, just like he did. "When you beg me to touch you just one more time, it's senseless sex?"

"Yes." Stephanie's voice hitched and her eyes begged him to stop. Chris ignored it. She did feel something, like he did. And she was hiding behind her stupid lies and her stupid husband. Well, not anymore. Not if Chris Jericho had any say in the matter.

"Wrong. You know it means something." Chris softened his voice and reached out to Stephanie. "You won't admit it but you know it here." He ran a hand along her stomach. Then he stroke the top of her chest, where her heart was beating so fast. "And here."

Stephanie pushed his hand, and her voice rose in reckless abandon. "No! It's just sex! It doesn't mean anything..."

"Stop lying, Stephanie. For just this once, tell me the truth." Chris tried to ignore the pleading tone in his voice.

Stephanie's eyes narrowed, and Chris saw something passionate and intense grow in her eyes. "It doesn't mean a thing to me."

Chris gritted his teeth and saw the woman he loved pulling away from something that could be the best thing to ever happen to either of them. And that pissed him off. He stood chest to chest with Stephanie, almost at eye level. "Say it again."

"It means nothing." Stephanie stared defiantly at him.

Stroking her waist, Chris could hear the lies in her voice. After all this time, he could hear the lies. He withheld a smile, leaned forward and whispered in Stephanie's ear. "Say it again."

He could hear Stephanie swallow and breathe out shakily. She was trembling slightly in his arms, and when she spoke next, it was so quiet he could barely make out the words. "It means nothing."

Chris felt the gap in her armor, saw a weakening in her defenses. He ran a finger down her cheek and looked her in the eyes. "Now, say it and mean it."

Stephanie's eyes widened and she looked at Chris in shock. And he knew then, that moment, Stephanie felt something too. He didn't wait for her to try and answer. He just kissed her.

He put everything he felt in the kiss, every time he watched Stephanie when she wasn't paying attention, every time she smiled just a little bit, every time she laughed, every time she made him love her all the more. And he was shocked by the depth of his feelings.

When it ended, Chris kept hold of Stephanie and said the first thing that came to mind. "Now say what you're really thinking."

Her eyes cleared to become a lazy, sparkling blue. And she said the words he thought he would never hear.

"I love you."

Stephanie looked at him and it felt like he was looking at her for the first time, like now he was really seeing her. And she was beautiful. 

"I love you too."

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So I keep watch and you keep breaking

Breaking formation to become someone else

And your eyes become corridors

Where I'll wander with a candle

Calling out to you

And you only hide

Because you know I'll find you

You say you just wanna feel

the way you used to feel

The way you should feel

and I wander, I wander through

the lost city of you

And you only hide

Because you know I'll find you

And you only hide

Because you know I'll find you

~ You Only Hide, Something For Kate ~


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